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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Josh's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, February 2nd, 2002
3:50 pm
Nickelback
I just watched an interview on much music with Chad.

How you remind me is played more times in North America than any other song has been.Broke the Record.

It s played every 3.5 minutes.......pretty fucken amazing.

Chad says "the funny thing is that the song is longer than 3.5 minutes so its a continues flow of how you remind me".

So thats pretty cool


Nickelback is the only excitement i have in my life.....kinda sad

But they are the best band.
Sunday, December 2nd, 2001
12:03 am
Interesting

If I was a James Bond villain, I would be Francisco Scaramanga.

I enjoy good food, monopolising the world's energy supplies, and sex before assassinating people.

I am played by Christopher Lee in The Man with the Golden Gun.

Who would you be? James Bond Villain Personality Test



very interesting karen

Current Mood: bored
Monday, November 26th, 2001
9:50 am
Feelings
i was happy

for the first time in a long long time i can say i was truly happy

lasted like 2hrs

then it was snatched away

now im most likely on my way home

unless she changes her mind

How should i feel right now?

sad, angry, disapointed, dejected, lost, fine?

what are all of those together?

blended?- does that work?

my life has been thrown in a blender and choppped untill it no longer resembles what it once was. im a goo----color? grey

how can goo turn back to solid matter? can that happen?

im a destined for nothingness?

lonliness?

melville?


~I think "im" alone in the universe tonight~

if i could cry i would--but im dry of tears--i tire of this...thing that is me

must change

followed her like a lost puppy- now once again im lost who to follow?

o you(god) where are you leading me?

thought so--no clue eh

well thanx for the help



%she would be much better if i had never met her%

Current Mood: blended
Monday, November 19th, 2001
11:06 am
Fragile
Saturday morning my mom calls,

I can hear the tension in her voice as she says there has been a "horrible accident"
My heart skips a beet and my mind wonders through the possibilitys,i was scared and sadly intrigued.

on friday night there was an accident, same place as the previous weekend. This accident took out 2 powerpoles, and injured 4 boys, killing one of them. She sadly told me the victims, i new them all, went to school with them all. Kevin Issel, Keith Webber, Craig Cochraine, Wade McCormick. Me and Keith sat together for the better part of grade 10, he is so funny im glad he is ok, i dont know Kevin and Craig as well but they were also great guys they,are ok aswell

Wade, my first friend in melville.
Great Guy cant say a bad thing about him
his locker was beside mine for all of grade 9, we sat togethr in computers english and math, we were partners for most of gym( we bigger guys have to stick together)
i went over to house house met his family and hung out with him

wade was the first melville kid to talk to me and get to know me

now wade is dead

i am in disbelieve

i will never see him again

i have never dealt with death before, now i have

i feel empty

and wade and i werent even close anymore, just aquintances remembering the good times

he is a guy i will never forget

Thanks Wade

I hope u are in a better place man

Current Mood: sad
Thursday, November 8th, 2001
2:29 pm
Allo
Hey


IM BACK!!
got back this morning me and lala sped like the whole way

so give me a call
im going for cofee right now, but i have no plans for tonight
if im not home leave a message please

later
josh
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2001
5:26 pm
My Fans
Greetings

For all of my adoring fans, i will be making a special visit to a town called melville.
I will be there for the dates of 8,9,10,11,12 of november that is.


should be fun
im catching a ride home with valerie early thursday morning.i will be there that afternoon.

looking forword to that

and dont get your hopes up(right)
but i should be home over xmas break.

maybe the 26th till the 3rd
or maybe even xmas eve ill see what i can swing
got work crap


But i guess we will see
I got the nickelback cd The State now also
fuck they rock

i saw them on much spotlight today
they are so cool
man on man when i see them it will be an experience
cant wait


later


o hockey tonight
wish me luck

Current Mood: contemplative
Monday, October 22nd, 2001
1:28 pm
Im back
hello

that was faster than anticipated, first no computer for 3 mths, done in 3 days.
my life is back!!!

sad eh?

anyways,
i still have 2 chances to make a team, might be defence though, could be fun
at laest its ice time
if i mkae the team i will have played with half this league
funny shit


well gotta go

Current Mood: relieved
Wednesday, October 17th, 2001
1:30 pm
for the life of me
i cant even see
what youve done to me
who you wanna be

is this someone else?
if so who sings that?

its in my head but i cant place it
Tuesday, October 16th, 2001
6:48 pm
Who wins and for what eh?
interesting

well.......who wins
we are told that good always beats evil
but that cant be true, with my theory of the natural balance it would be up in the air who one and that would mean good had/has as much a chance of losing as evil.

but maybe good has already one, right like this world is such a happy place
more likely maybe evil won and we are living in its world till the game restarts

so what would they win,
since we are just the game board no point battling over us.
maybe they battle to see who lives in heaven for a few years, descides who controls heaven or hell.if thats the case then neither is really good or evil, they just get forced into the part/Its tehre job till they win. or lose

anyways
my thoughts would have made me a heretic
nice
these are all just ramblings
Monday, October 15th, 2001
7:19 pm
The Game
So i was talking to vanessa and came up with this analegy

So theirs like this pool of strong souls
And the devil and God had a draft, like hockey
they both had their info on each soul, decided who would be best suited for their team
then they picked them in rounds just like hockey
these souls were drafted to the army in away, onside good one evil
At different times through mans history, these souls are born into human life, and must battle, good versus evil.
And the rest of us are free agents
The devil is like the last place team, he has to go out and beg the players(us) to come to his team ofer them stuff in return, give them a big signing bonus.

God just sits back, he is the good team that everyone wants to play for, he waits for the players to come to him.Then he sighns them

These 2 teams battle every few years
the good team versus the bad team
a big game for our masters to play
we are the pieces, the puppets the pawns.

But hey what can i say?
its fun eh?

So when the game ends we may never know, could be tomorrow could be never
wonder what happends when the game gets borring?





Thats just an interesting thought
Saturday, October 13th, 2001
8:16 pm
blah
Just some lines i thought up today at work
a work in progress


I am such a fragile little thing
twist me the wrong way and you lose me forever
stroke me the right way and i will leave you never

Go with me they often say
But more often then not youll pay
Thursday, October 11th, 2001
10:40 pm
:)
well from heathers responcei thought i better right something

dont worry im fine
this doesnt have anything to do with me

just spued out

dont worry
9:56 pm
poem song thing
Trust


Nothing really changes
It all just stays the same
looking back makesu sick
all u remember is pain

Run away little one
Its time to escape again
you returned, but what for?
This place is fucking lame

You feel out of place
Your the one thats changed
you no longer fit in
is that such a shame?

who to trust
when lifes a bust
Thought you knew your friends and fam
u stupid shit,u never did what a friggen sham

old habits come to be
in the face of all you see
Tired of the shit you hear
just want to make them shed a tear

tired of this life you live
what ever is the point
whispers say they lied to you
their the ones that made you blue
he says take the gun in your hand
all will be ok im here for u i always was, remeber your true love
feel the rage, take the pen, and right this final page
final act, its a fact, the devil is your dove

so do they fear you now?
will they tell u true?
or will they keep on lieing?
continue to fuck with you

you threaten them with teary eyes
remembering what was told
remmebering all the spoken lies
u suddenly feel stone cold

parden me u ask as you pull the trigger
could you would you did you?
were you much bigger?
maybe they told the truth, maybe u always new
maybe u should have thought this out
well this fucken blew

youve done it now
fucked yourself
time to pay the price

He welcomes you to his hell
Your dove is now a bat
he lied to you, u never new
ur soul is now his hat


interesting
9:53 pm
"TOO LATE, TOO LATE"
"TOO LATE, TOO LATE"
Originally recorded by Motorhead

Huh

I see that nothin's changed
Insist on playing games
Some waste of time you are
And you're so popular
Well this is it you bitch
I've got to make my switch
I'm just another john
I know what's goin' on

Your move
What do I have to lose?
Stalemate
No-oh, too late, too late

I thought you was for real
But you're a rip-off deal
Don't give me all that crap
I just escaped your trap
I think you see the joke
But you're just chasin' smoke
You ain't another one
I know what's goin' on

Your move
What do I have to lose?
Stalemate
Hello, too late, too late
Oh

Get on it!

Misunderstanding me
The way you feel so free
I'm gonna jump the gun
Oh I'm gonna hit an' run
Your credibility
Don't cut no ice with me
Another privelige gone
I know what's goin' on

Your move
What do I have to lose?
Stalemate
Oh oh, too late, too late
Oh, too late, too late

like this song
Like its message
Wednesday, October 10th, 2001
12:43 am
Job
Hello

So i have kinda decided what i want to do when i grow up.

I want to be a radiologist.
They make some good coin
so i have to decide on what field i want to specialise in.

this one sounds good........
Locum
Tenens/Perm
Radiologist

not exactly sure what the job entitles
but........i am interested in radiolagy
and the big feature is $ 250000-$500000 american
wow
thats pretty damn good
plus they pay for your health care, and housing , and some times transportation


thats in the USA
but i will live there for that much
what do you think ness?
You like?
i do
Monday, October 8th, 2001
6:33 pm
Interesting
I read my horoscope for the first time in a while

very curious
it seems to fit

The time has come for
you to put your plans into
motion, Fishy. Things
may not be as easy as
you had thought, but that
doesnt mean its
impossible. Your intuition
tells you this is a good
idea so dont give up hope at the
first obstacle.

This is a good thing
6:33 pm
Interesting
I read my horoscope for the first time in a while

very curious
it seems to fit

The time has come for
you to put your plans into
motion, Fishy. Things
may not be as easy as
you had thought, but that
doesnt mean its
impossible. Your intuition
tells you this is a good
idea so dont give up hope at the
first obstacle.

This is a good thing
Saturday, October 6th, 2001
12:46 am
King Nothing
Wish I may
Wish i might
Have this wish tonight
Are you satisfied?

Dig for gold
Dig for fame
You dig to make your name
Are you pacified?

All the wants you waste
All the things you've chased

*And it all crashes down
And you break your crown
And you point your finger
But there's no one around

**Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But the castle crumbled
And you've left with just a name

Where's your crown?
King nothing***

Hard and cold
Bought and sold
A heart hard as gold
Are you satisfied

Wish I may
Wish I might
You wish your life away
Are you pacified

All the wants you waste
All the things you've chased

*--*** Repeat

I wish I may
I wish I might
Have this wish I wish tonight

I want the star
i want it now
I want it all and i don't care how

Careful what you wish
Careful what you say
Careful what you wish
You may regret it

Careful what you wish
You just might get it

Then it all crashes down
And you break your crown
And you point your finger
But there's no one around



So it all crashed down
And i broke my crown
want to talk
but their is no one around

wow,
How shitty things can go
i didnt make the team
now i might not be playing hockey

i might not be able to stay in calgary

my beutiful peaceful world came crashing down
wanted to much
should have known........cant have everything


how come all of the big shit happens when i have no one?
y couldnt this have happened last weekend, i would have had her to talk to and hold.
she is my rock, my shade from the badshit
now she is gone and i am alone to fight the battle.......well i have the big guy
wonder what he has in store for me.
curious

i could still play hockey
if im luckey
i can play JrC
wow, another step down
i played JrA last year
Now to JrC, way to go


it just takes a bump in the road like this to show you how little you actually have
who do i have to talk to?
vanessa-gone
Jeremey-not the same anymore
My parents-um yah
Aunt and Uncle-well maybe.......how about no
and no one else really wants to hear about it

i have no one hear
i haveGod
i still have my faith dont worry everyone
im not the suicidal mess i was this summer........im a rock........heart hard as gold


what would i say anyway?
what would they say?
what could they say?

I have to pray
its all i have left

me and my only friend................God

O ness i may dispose of the stuff under the bed tonight
we shall see

I LOVE YOU
Dont worry about me
have a great weekend


O and seth
bud keep it together
im here
and impartial

i hope you are ok man, you left rather abrubtly, dont do anything rash

give me a shout so i know your cool
please

Current Mood: Reflective-Alone
Tuesday, October 2nd, 2001
11:50 pm
The pain filled me
stinging like a bee

The dark river of my heart consumed all
i had nothing left but to fall

The world around me was being reshaped
it felt like my mind was being raped

Their was only one way out and that was the blade
Man o man im sure glad a stayed

The dark river that consumed my soul
Has dug a whole just like a mole

Blowen away by my new bliss
It is a pain i will never miss

**********************************************************************************************

I try to examine my, self get to know the new me
but i cant
he is so new and dfferent
changed in everyway
I like him

Confident
Strong
Enlightened

my eyes are open
i see people for what they are
scared
wandering around looking for a friend, needing sympathy and companionship
needing someone to know they exist, that they are alive

people need each other to survive


we need each other to solve our problems
which really is interesting
how can you solve someones problems when you cant solve your own?

I watch people
see the real them
I see some of what is underneath
hidden away
The side people are afraid to show
the real person
the core of us all
our soul

its weird
i used to hate people
now i can chat with anyone
see beauty and good in everyone
aswell as ugliness and evil.

i have come to the thought that no matter who you are u have good and evil in you
Its your choice on which side you embrace and trust

i also think that in a way evil and good are the same
they work together to keep a balance in the world

what we see as evil others see as good

i had a cool idea for a tatoo

its a halo with horns, over a pitch fork with angel wings
balance
thats all life is, a balancing act

that tat would go on my lower back

i dont see this as against god in anyway
these are my thoughts i dont want to hear "but thats not what god says""or god doenst think that way"

i can believe what i want

Current Mood: Alive
Monday, October 1st, 2001
11:23 pm
Hello
well

just got back from hockey
it was a good practice
i find out friday if i make the team

longest tryout i haev ever been to

it is so tight
only 1 or 2 guys will be cut
i hope im not one of them

I pray to god that i wont get cut
but i feel bad for asking
its like why should he give me something?
what have i given him?

and if my destinay is already in place, than does praying make a difference?
does he even hear my prayers?

its very well interesting
i guess we will see

yah i will mail you heather
but i have to sleep now
i have to get up at 4:30 tomorrow for work
fun

nadine i haev your number
called once but it was busy

i want to call tomorrow
it will be around 8 ur time
ill try my best


later all

Josh

Current Mood: nervous,positive,content
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